he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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