do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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