Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
foreskin is a definite game changer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
