He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
