We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
