she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
