Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
