My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
