Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
