Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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