just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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