OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
