A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
