Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
