I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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