weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
