Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
