i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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