sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
