How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
