Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
