Christians are straight up FREAKS
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
