At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
