The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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