Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girls should come with a carfax report
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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