I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
