there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
