I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
