Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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