Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
