You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
