Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
