I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
