At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
