So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
