If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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