Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
