I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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