No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
