i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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