just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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