hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
