Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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