for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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