i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
