her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
