I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
