so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
