you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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