Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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