I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
